So I need some serious help! [Car Porn Dump also!]

"404 Name Not Found" (404namenotfound) 12/13/2013 at 14:34 • Filed to: None

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Hey guys! It's been a while since I have posted here. I need some serious help. Recently I got into a small accident where I rear ended a car at around 5 mph. It caused no injury, but it did result in damage to both vehicles. I just got my car back a few weeks ago. But whenever I am on the road, all I can think about is getting into a wreck. I can literally imagine everything going wrong on the road. Like I can see accidents happening right in front of my eyes.

It has gotten to the point where I do not even want to drive any more. What can I do? I use to love cars, but now It has become a mental block. Has anyone else been in this situation?

William Byrd > 404 Name Not Found 12/13/2013 at 14:37

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I rolled my Pulsar NX when I was 16, sort of had that for awhile but it went away. Time heals all wounds, physical and mental.

m2m, apex detective > 404 Name Not Found 12/13/2013 at 14:37

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Did you rear-end either one of the cars in picture #1 or the one in #2?

If so, enjoy your money while it lasts. :D

Converse > 404 Name Not Found 12/13/2013 at 14:42

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Take it slow just like when you started driving. Maybe even go to a vacant lot and do some panic stops, etc. just to get the feeling of control back.

If you feel that what caused the collision was your fault and you didn't know how to control the situation, try to a driving school like Bondurant, Skip Barber etc. to get back to the absolute basics so you are prepared in the event of another problem.

Chuck 2(O=[][]=O)2 > 404 Name Not Found 12/13/2013 at 14:44

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I had the same problem. In my first few months of driving, with my permit, I was in a serious 8 car pile up on a major highway (83 in PA). My mother went to the hospital because she has an airbag hit her in the face. The car hit my side of the car, yet only the right side airbag deployed. After the accident I had a fear of driving, but I took it more as a right of passage, my first accident. So, I was sorta glad I got it over with and that I wasn't liable. The thing that still bothered me was airbags. Thankfully, my car does't have one (this sounds really ironic). All I can say is that in due time you will get over it. Be glad it was only 5mph and no one was hurt.

Burt > 404 Name Not Found 12/13/2013 at 14:48

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A few years ago, I hit a deer doing about 45 m.p.h., with my mom and sister in the car. For a while after that, every mail box, fence post and political sign was part of a deer, particularly at night. I got over that eventually, and the best thing I can recommend would be to just go drive. I've been DD'ing a manual car for the first time in my life for the last three weeks, and there are some things, like starting from a stop, and high rpm shifting, that bug me, even when I'm not driving. The best solution I've found is to do them, and prove to myself that I do have control, and can do it without failing.

deekster_caddy > 404 Name Not Found 12/13/2013 at 14:50

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Make sure the other guy's insurance pays for your PTSD psych visits and meds!

Time will tell. I like the parking lot suggestion. If you are able to relax about it eventually, great. If you can't, get help!

GhostZ > 404 Name Not Found 12/13/2013 at 14:58

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Don't mean to be a dick, but maybe this will lighten the mood. I can't offer any advice (worse crash I've been in was sliding a beater on some ice down sidways down an embankment. I was angry at myself, but not scared) but the worst thing to do for a fear like that seems to be to avoid cars altogether. I say, take the car out to an empty parking lot, and do a few handbrake turns and donuts.

Rebuild your driving skills, rebuild your confidence in your abilities, and control your mind. You gotta prove to yourself that you actually do know what you're doing.

Walfisch > 404 Name Not Found 12/13/2013 at 15:06

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I hit an animal once (a stray dog), doing some damage on my bumper. This being my first accident, the whole thing bothered me to no end, and I reached a point wherein I could not drive without having these weird thoughts about getting into another accident. It so happens that, a few days afterwards I had to be part of a convoy on our way to Wisconsin for our summer vacation, and I was this close to cancelling out my plans.

What I did was I talked to people I know (family mostly) who have been driving for a while. Basically, I drew some inspiration from them, since majority of those folks have been in an accident before. I realized that I guess the whole thing was a traumatic experience, and what's important is that I had to process this experience, and one way that I learned how is to talk it over with people that I can trust, unloading the negative thoughts and all. Afterwards, I started from the bottom again, back when I started driving. Remember that fear of actually controlling a car, and the responsibility behind it? Yeah, I relished on that again, and eventually I got my driving mojo back, this time with the added notion that I need to be more conscious of what I'm doing without letting the thoughts hamper the reaction time needed.

Good luck, and hopefully you get over this!

Tstanisch > 404 Name Not Found 12/13/2013 at 15:16

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1. Need to get over your fears.

2. Put a tiger (yes, I said Tiger as in the real animal) in the back seat.

3. Find open road

4. See how fast you can make those corners

5. Don't piss off the said Tiger.

HammerheadFistpunch > 404 Name Not Found 12/13/2013 at 15:18

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Time heals all...well except aging.

BoxerFanatic, troublesome iconoclast. > 404 Name Not Found 12/13/2013 at 15:39

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To paraphrase Top Gun...

"I am not here to blow sunshine up your ___, the fact is, you feel responsible for what happened, and you have a confidence problem."

It is OK. Anybody who has had anything go wrong on the road, has a confidence problem afterward, or else they are even more dangerous for not having one.

Take it easy. Stay calm, check your own neurosis about things... we all have to do it. Try to give things a second or third thought, and sort out whether it is something real, or imagined.

I got into a fender bender a couple years ago, where due to a split second of inattention to the traffic light, but watching other cars in traffic, I didn't decelerate soon enough at a yellow light, and ended up unable to stop for the red... so I blew through, and didn't make it all the way across without contact to the rear quarter of my car. It could have been much worse than it ended up being.

and I have a trick to paying more attention, I repeat the color of the light three times to myself, sometimes out loud, sometimes in my head, as I go through the intersection, so that I am sure that I am aware of the signal changes, and not distracted by traffic that is out of range, or talking to the people in my car, or whatever...(think of Sheldon's knocking on Penny's door on the Big Bang Theory show, a bit OCD.)

You'll get your confidence back, after you settle back down a bit. And the turmoil you have now will make sure you will be more aware later.

It isn't the end of the world, it will get better, and life will continue on.

404 Name Not Found > BoxerFanatic, troublesome iconoclast. 12/13/2013 at 15:45

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I love you. You are why I loved oppo.

BoxerFanatic, troublesome iconoclast. > 404 Name Not Found 12/13/2013 at 16:03

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That is a high compliment, thank you, sincerely.

But I have to say, that reminds me of something funny...

Garth Algar: Just say 'Thank you'

Terry: Wayne. Wayne. Garth told me about the show, man. I love you man.
Wayne Campbell: Yeah, and I love you too, Terry.
Terry: No, no, no. I mean it man. I LOVE you.
Wayne Campbell: No, I-I mean it. I love you.
Terry: No, you don't, man. I love you.
Wayne Campbell: [being hugged by Terry] Garth. Hey, come over here, I think Terry has something he wants to say to you.
Terry: I love you, man.
Garth Algar: Thank you .

Terry: I love you, man.

Russel: And I love you. Because I've learned that Platonic love *can* exist between two grown men.

Wayne Campbell: Isn't it great that we're all better people?

Wayne Campbell, Garth Algar: FISHED IN! (I always thought it was 'Fish cam'... but what do I know?!)

404 Name Not Found > BoxerFanatic, troublesome iconoclast. 12/13/2013 at 16:59

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Lol! More love brother.

aquila121 > 404 Name Not Found 12/15/2013 at 17:18

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I slid into a jersey barrier because of some black ice several years ago, (single-car accident, totaled my minivan, but I walked away fine) and I had the same line of thought. It made me physically ill to think about my crash, but I knew that being a gearhead is a part of who I am—so I just said 'fuck it' and drove again within the week even though I was scared. Given enough time, you'll get through it, and the important thing is to learn from the experience. Racecar drivers have to do the same thing, I'm sure.

One of my friends rolled his car at a track day a number of years ago—same sort of story; he was scared to drive anywhere near his limit for a year or two after, but has since moved back to his previous comfort level. Remember, your mistakes don't define you, no one can tell you who you are, or how you're supposed to be. Just get back to the point where you feel okay.

wizkashifa > 404 Name Not Found 01/03/2014 at 10:55

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Go karts.